Trunkles at Large

Flamin’ Poms

Marine Parade
Paraparaumu Beach

04 298 1500

The name suggests “English people that are a nuisance” or “apples on fire”. Unfortunately, the former description is the more accurate.

We entered and stood there, twiddling our thumbs until we eventually had our table pointed out to us. Showing us to our table simply didn’t happen.

The menu is short and after very little thought I decided to try Toad-in-the-Hole, a quintessentially English dish consisting of, for those who don’t know, Sausages baked in batter. We were warned that there was a 25 minute wait for this dish, which at least shows that it was cooked to order. My dinner companion is mostly vegetarian and selected Vegetable Filo Wraps, one of the pair of vegetarian options. Given the short menu, it was a pleasant surprise to find two vegetarian options on there. We ordered a “Basket of Chips” as a side order.

Our dishes appeared, reasonably well presented. Filo Wraps had a salad arranged on the plate and Toad-in-the-Hole came with peas, mashed potato and onion gravy. The mashed potato was good, smooth and with an excellent flavour. The chips were good - properly cooked, crisp and golden. The rest of the meal was lack lustre. The sausages were, at best, uninteresting and the batter acceptable but a little on the stodgy side. The Filo Wraps were, according to my dinner companion, “tasteless” and appeared to have nothing but potato and broccoli in them. The onion gravy had, I fear, an element of “packet mix” about it.

The place itself is brown. Brown from the floor to the ceiling. There is little in the way of décor and the chairs we had were uncomfortable. The English are not noted for flamboyance and the interior of “Flamin’ Poms” proves that. I should be noted that I’m English myself, so can speak with some authority on the matter.

To blame the waiting staff for the poor level of service would be invidious, I am quite sure they have had no training whatsoever and so the management must bear the brunt. The management would do well to invest in some good training. The staff were pleasant people and would, I am sure, be excellent at their job, if they were trained.

Desert was considered but only for a fleeting moment. My companion had noticed deserts going to other tables looked rather sad and the waitress who was going to bring us the desert menu failed to do so. She had, however, reached across my partner to pick up her napkin and had used the napkin to clean the table, which is not how to wait on tables. Our experience so far suggested we should go elsewhere for desert and we did just that.

Menu (1.5 / 5)
Service (1 / 5)
Food (2 / 5)
Atmosphere (1 / 5)
Overall (5.5 / 20)